WAY OF THE GUN [PART DEUCE]

April is apparently Child Abuse Prevention Month so my advice is all you little shits stay off the server for the month!  Catholic school boys you’re on your own!  For the record me and Captain Fantastic went to Catholic School nothing happened to me, but I can't vouch for Captain Fantastic, he'd disappear after Sunday service for about 45 minutes or so and show up later with a bewildered look of shame on his face!  I have several weapons I like to use while ruining the dreams of many would be gamers.  Generally the game type and map I am playing dictates what weapon package I will use.  As of lately I am trying to get *gold*² for all the assault rifles so I have been starting at the top and moving my way down.  However, if I had to choose between a few weapons I have my favorites.  Please note that it doesn’t really matter which weapon I use as I am deadly with them all.

[TNUC]mdsherer70¹

ACR 6.8 Assault Rifle

 In-my opinion-this is the best assault rifle in the game!  It combines all the important attributes-the most important to me being accuracy and range.  It has a good rate-of-fire with suitable knock down power.  The ACR 6.8 is my choice in urban settings.  Its looks are moderate but in my hands (a trained killer) looks are irrelevant.  While I’m carrying this weapon it screams “badass” and perfectly fits my persona as a “body planting kill freak”.  When I carry this weapon I often feel comparable to a Roman Centurion who kills babies.

MK14 Assault Rifle

This weapon by far is my favorite assault rifle to use!  The great thing about the MK 14 is that it combines the accuracy, damage, and range of a sniper rifle without the tag of having a vagina for using a sniper rifle.  Basically if you use this weapon you need to have mad-Asian-skillz³! Once you get used to this weapon and learn how to use it in close quarters it’s a very effective and deadly weapon.  The MK 14 gives you the choice to run and gun as well as sit back and pick off douche bags.  I especially like to kill vagina having snipers with this weapon.  Once the round ends all those pussies complain about me using this weapon.  They basically can’t handle the heat and have no excuses when being owned by a NON-AUTOMATIC weapon.  I like to use this weapon on larger maps that have more open areas but will use it on almost any map except for maps Dome and Arkaden.

 P90 SMG (Sub-Machine Gun)

This is my run and gun weapon.  It is very mobile and can put a lot of rounds down range.  The P90 SMG is my go-to weapon for Dome and Arkaden.  It is a good weapon up close and can also take down bitches at long range if needed.  I’ve killed so many people with this weapon that the police often show up on my doorstep to complain about all the bodies lying around⁴.  I have received several citations for littering⁴.  Basically don’t try running from me when I’m carrying this weapon, you will only die tired.  As a matter of fact, in one game, I had so many kills with this weapon that I crashed the network due to all the dead bodies trying to respawn at once-caused by a little known glitch called “respawn congestion.”

FAD Assault Rifle

This is basically a SMG in an assault rifle package.  It has a bit more bells and whistles than a standard run-of-the mill SMG and has a high rate of fire and good mobility.  One thing I like about this weapon is the amount of rounds it can pump out with an ammo capacity of approximately 240 rounds.  I usually use this weapon when playing with my loser cousin so I can cover his six⁵ when playing Drop Zone!   

1 - Matusi may be the most Asian non Asian playing this game.  When I asked him to write this I didn’t realize he was going to write it like it was going to be in a legitimate manual for the game…Needless to say he plays a lot, but only after his wife and kid hit the sheets!  I am pretty sure he’s a vampire who has figured a way to beat the sun because he seems to never sleep.  Being married he takes his gaming seriously along with Madden Football because this is all he has to look forward to…it may sound awkward when a grown man brags about being good at a video game, but that’s what having a kid and tying yourself legally to one vagina the rest of your life will do to a guy…looking at you married breeders!

2 - for the record I have no fucking clue what *gold* means, I haven’t played enough to be throwing techy terms like that out like everyone knows what the fuck I’m talking about, so if you’re reading this and you know, you’re a big dork who never gets laid and probably masturbate to your little sisters friends.

3 - this pretty much means you are really really good, or Asian in which case you are really really good!

4 - I’m not sure if this really makes sense???  But what the fuck do I know!

5 - this means covering his ass, which actually I do for he, [TNUC]asDefens, and [TNUC]tacwarfare.  For the record tacwarfare won't be writing any post do to my age restrictions, the fact that he's in our clan would probably get him grounded and me in a ton of trouble!